BITW News: 2005 Wrap-Up Special

It was a big year for the Keisers, and an especially big year for one Keiser in particular. Madeleine went from being smaller than a pea in her Mom's belly, to bigger than a pineapple in her Daddy's arms - all in one year. And, Sahru went from being a gorgeous Sahru size - to beach-ball sized - and back, also all in one year. And Joe ... well, he just got bigger. Hey, it can take a while to lose those sympathy pounds!

In a related story, 2005 was a year for new title. A few Keisers, and Glatsteins, and Handlesmans, and Bowdens, and Cowanses -- all went from being regular people, to being GRAND people. There are now grand aunts, grand uncles, great grands ... it's all grand! And there are also new aunts and uncles - Uncle Dan and Uncle Sam to name but a few. Enjoy your new positions in the family, and use your grand-powers wisely.

Finally, in addition to new titles, new sizes, and entirely new people, 2005 also saw the arrival of ITSTHEKEISERS.com - which has been entertaining millions (or at least dozens) for one year now. In the upcoming year, we are excited to present continuing coverage of "Madeleine '06: The Big-enning" - which is a follow up to our top story of last year, "Madeleine '05: The Beginning." And we also hope to bring you continuing full-media coverage of the Keiser clan, including photos and movies, and whatever other forms of recording device Joe is able to convince his Wife to let him buy. So, stay tuned to ITSTHEKEISERS.com ...

"Shaky-Shaky" Baby Syndrome: Details Of A Coming Newborn Pandemic

The heretofore unheard of "Shaky-Shaky" Baby Syndrome, is making news due to recently discovered footage depicting the shockingly debilitating effects of this rare, but increasingly more common disease.

Doctors, who had previously thought the disease was "cute," now are admitting that the world should prepare for a pandemic that could leave the world's children debilitated and in a stupor.

As recorded in the discovered footage, babies are brought to a state of utter disfunction, can no longer control their facial expressions, may be unable to control their bowels, and often find themselves unable to breath due to fits of uncontrolled laughing. Some babies suffer further consequences, including serious weight gain combined with an overall demeanor that one doctor we spoke to described as "jolly."

Not all babies are at risk for this disease. The warning signs to watch for are: more than one hour of play-time per day with a caretaker, a "jolly" demeanor, laughing & chubbiness. Most importantly, doctors warn that caregivers should strictly avoid the "Shaky-Shaky" game. This game, more than anything, will almost certainly lead to the severest of all "Shaky-Shaky" Syndrome symptoms - happy babies.

BITW News Morsels: Holiday Edition

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While on an escalator at Macy's, on their way to do some after Christmas shopping, Sahru & Madeleine were approached by a woman who had been intently observing mother & child riding up the moving stairway. The woman stopped at the end of the escalator ride, and candidly informed Sahru that "you are the best Mom I've ever seen ... I just wanted you to know that." A slightly confused Sahru could only reply with a smile and a tentative "thanks," but later wished she had asked "why?"

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There's a new way to view movies on ITSTHEKEISERS.com. We're now hosting movies right on our own site. Just follow this link to see the new layout. The latest movies are at the end of the numbered lists. Just click on a movie you want to watch, and enjoy the show!

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Maddie took her first swim this Hanukkah. The 85° water was perfect for the water baby, as she made her first laps across her Grandparent's Pasadena pool. Click here for a photo of the little swimmer in action.

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And speaking of Hanukkah, Maddie celebrated her first this year, and it turns out she LOVES watching candles. Barukh atah adonai little Maddie. Click here to see Maddie enjoying her first festival of lights.

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Holiday Cheer

Madeleine's first holiday season was a true success. Not only did little Maddie rack in the gifts, from many generous family and friends, but she also partook in many great holiday traditions & cheer.

Some people might say that three months is a bit young for the kind of holiday cheer depicted in the photo to the right. Some, less snooty people might say that those other people should keep their noses in their own business. While some child-protective-type people might say that what's depicted in that photo is punishable by 5-10 years in "parent training camp." We like to think that it's all clean holiday fun!

Over the course of her first holiday season, Maddie enjoyed holiday traditions other than drinking as well. There was lighting the Hanukkah candles, singing Hanukkah songs, opening presents, & eating potato pancakes & chopped liver (in milk form) with her Grandparents in LA. There were holiday parties with various friends and family, putting up holiday lights and decorations, her first new year's eve (although she slept right through midnight - which her parents are quite grateful for), and her first big holiday road trip (see future articles for more).

All-in-all, this first holiday season was a great one. Now the next big event is Maddie's first President's Day sale!