Sahru Eats Again, And Often!

Since January 1st of this year, Sahru and food have not been the best of friends. Through months of nausea, disinterest, disgust, and discomfort - Sahru and food seemed destined to never again share the once intimate bond they had previously enjoyed. But in the past few weeks all that has changed. Now, a once strained relationship has again blossomed into a full fledged love affair. Sahru can't seem to get enough of her rediscovered compatriot, often eating six, seven, or even eight meals a day. Food also can't seem to get enough of Sahru, often accompanying her to the movies, to visit friends, on long car rides, and on five minute trips to the supermarket to get more food.

ITS THE KEISERS.com recently had a chance to catch up with Sahru's Husband, otherwise known as the "Feeder," and asked him about this dramatic change of events.

ITK.com - "Has Sahru's recent return to eating changed your life in any way?"

FEEDER - "Do you have any food on you?!"

ITK.com - "No, sorry. But can you tell our readers about what it's like to see Sahru once again enjoying food?"

FEEDER - "Hey man, I have to find some food now, or ELSE!"

ITK.com - "Or else what sir?"

FEEDER - "Or else She might eat us all!"

ITK.com - "I'm sorry, but all I've got is some Altoids."

FEEDER - "That'll never hold her. Wait, here she comes. She looks hungry. Run damnit, RUN!"

Unfortunately ITK.com's interview was cut short when "Feeder" ran off screaming what sounded like a grocery list. Needless to say, it appears that Sahru and food are together at last, and everyone - except possibly "Feeder," is excited about that.

JOB SEARCH UPDATE: Bacon Finally Found

After many long months of job hunting, it appears that Joe has finally found a place where he can hang his shingle. A place that will provide the bacon Joe needs to bring home to his increasingly hungrier wife, Sahru. That place is the Law Offices of Max Hopkins - a Novato, California practice focusing on general civil litigation and family law matters.

Joe started his job hunt in August 2004, only to discover that for some reason, no one wants to hire a law school graduate who hasn't yet passed the Bar. So, for the next three months Joe kept searching and applying, but with little hope of landing a job. Then, on November 19, 2004 - a day that will long be remembered as the longest day EVER, at 6:00 PM the news came in. Joe had passed the Bar, and a new phase of the job search began.

Suddenly, interviews began lining up. Some weeks, Joe had three or four interviews arranged. The odds were beginning to turn in Joe's favor, and it was only a matter of time before the right position came along. Well, that position did come along, and Joe jumped at the opportunity. Just a few short weeks ago Joe interview for, was hired, and began working at his new job 30 minutes north of San Francisco. Joe has been working at the Law Offices for only two weeks now, but he already knows that this job is going to be a great fit.

In a related story - if you're member of Joe's family and are seeking legal services, Joe has a brief request: "In order to maintain the continued love and enjoyment of each other's company, please, PLEASE, call another Keiser when the shit hits the fan. Thank you, and I'll see you at the holidays."

Heartbeat Proves Pregnancy is “No Hoax”

Sahru and Joe recently had their third appointment with midwife Abigail Reagan, and exams show that both Mother and Baby are healthy and strong. Dispelling Sahru's belief that the previous three months of nausea were caused by an exotic disease, doppler sonar revealed the wondrous sound of a vigorous heartbeat pounding away at 160 beats per minute. Hearing the rhythmic pulsing for the first time, the expectant couple was overjoyed and knew for sure that this is not a rare case of Northern California Malaria, but is instead a real live BABY!

Although the actual heartbeat wasn't recorded, you can click here to listen to a sample of a nearly identical fetal heartbeat.

ITS THE KEISERS.com Offers FREE Update Notification

For those of you who are dying to know the latest about what's going on with Sahru, Joe and Baby Keiser, but don't have the time to keep checking back at ITS THE KEISERS.com for updates - well, now you can sign-up to receive ITS THE KEISERS.com automatic email notification.

Simply email Joe, say "Sign me up," and your name will be added to our email notification list. Best of all, this service is being offered to valued customers of ITS THE KEISERS.com FREE of charge (for a limited time only). So don't wait another minute to receive up-to-the-minute updates about your favorite little Keisers, email us now!